Welcome to my summary of 2023 with 2022 sneakily riding in the sidecar. I’ve on purposely said summary and not “best of” for a good reason. Basically, these past two years have been filled with a baby, a move to the London-Essex border with one week’s notice (if you’re on a tube line it counts), a house renovation and a year long waitlist for a nursery place. Faced with full time parenthood and a full time business, something had to give.
For the past fiveish years I’d built an industry reputation that I was proud of, which peaked in becoming an official ambassador for a major camera brand. In Spring 2022, I realised following the pandemic (weddings were banned throughout) and a battle with post natal depression (I am open about this to raise awareness and break the stigma for other parents), that I had gone through a huge shift in my life.
Consequently, I decided to resign from my beloved X-photographer role, I turned down public speaking workshops, I stopped entering photography competitions, I stopped blogging and posting on social media. All so I could prioritise on maintaining a high standard for my couples and giving myself a healthier work-life balance. I even left Facebook for about half a year, the height of madness, I know.
I won’t lie, I felt adrift at first. Frankly, it’s really nice feeling special and getting noticed by your peers, but when I stopped participating in the industry, it naturally stopped engaging with me. Lots of photographers who I would chat to almost daily, I haven’t spoken to in over a year. Becoming less and less relevant and not getting validation from peers, social media and awards, made me lose confidence in myself and my work. I didn’t realise how defined I was by the external influence until it had gone.
I decided at that point, to just go back to my foundations. Don’t think about perfect award-winning compositions and chasing every extreme, dramatic moment. Just be present, at this specific wedding, with these people in front of me, and capture joy and happiness as best I could.
In doing this I rediscovered something I’d lost. At the peak of my career achievements, I was also burning out. Now being free of the pressure to constantly create for recognition, I had the brain space to connect with people; my couples, their guests and other suppliers. Ironically this in turn meant it became easier to react to the fun moments and capture the intimate, honest emotions.
I wasn’t forcing myself to keep shooting just in case I missed that award winner, which I used to do to the point of exhaustion. I was slowing down and breathing for the first time in a long time. I decided I liked this humanist attitude, and that I was at peace if my photography wasn’t in the Top Whatever as long as I was still booking shoots and my clients were happy.
To my surprise, despite withdrawing from putting my work out there, I found I was receiving more wonderful feedback than ever before, but this time from my clients. I suddenly had more couples posting wonderful google reviews, and referrals from past weddings coming in thick and fast to the point that I was seeing some couples at their friends weddings the next year! I slowly learned to trust myself and believe that I was still good enough. And most importantly, that I could do my job successfully whilst also being kinder to myself.
So this post is written not to showcase my best wedding photography of 2022/2023, I know I’ve missed out plenty of gems. It’s more of a collection of work I’m really proud of, regardless of how it’s rated by others. It’s my own memories of these weddings. I feel happy looking at these photos, they remind me that I had fun and came home content, telling my partner that I had a great day at work. They remind me I’m lucky to be able to do this job. I hope it reassures whoever it might resonate with out there, that you can be a great wedding photographer even if your associates aren’t telling you so, and a reminder that your photography means SO much more to the people you’re shooting for than you realise.
I hope this post shows couples out there what they can expect from me going forward- a real person with a camera, happy to be there with you, genuinely caring about your day and wanting to do her best for you.
Thank you to all the suppliers who worked on these weddings, I’m sorry I can’t credit you all individually, but please know I appreciate that you play a huge role in making my photos look the way they do.
Thank you to all the couples who have said the aforementioned lovely things, it was a kindness I genuinely appreciated everytime over the past two years. Your shared words allow me to keep this amazing job I’m so grateful for.
Thank you everyone.
